A Sad Day, No If's and's or Cuts About It

Today millions of Americans today woke up this morning and were devastated with such horrific news. Such misfortune has plagued the city of Miami, and is slowly permeating throughout our great land. Everyone lower your flags to half-mast, secure a box off tissues, grab a cold adult beverage and pour some out, for the career of OUR PRESIDENT Jay Cutler may come to an abrupt end.

After starting Quarterback Ryan Tannehill of the Miami Dolphins went down with a noncontact season-ending knee injury, left the Miami Dolphins, a team that went 10-6 the previous season, in dire need of an experienced veteran to sling the pigskin.

The stars aligned, and one warm August day, a deal had been made for Jay Cutler to become the next quarterback for the Miami Dolphins. Opportunity came-a-knockin’ for Cutler, let’s just hope when he answered the door he remembered to put on some trousers.

Many thought this move was serendipitous, as Cutler and coach Adam Gase had been shown success as a formidable QB/Offensive-coordinator duo in 2015. A season in which Cutler generated 21 touchdowns, 3,659 yards and a career high passer rating of 92.3.

Many had wondered if lightning could strike twice for Cutler and Gase. One thing was for certain, Belichick and Brady had a classic case of the heebie-jeebies when they heard of Cutler’s arrival to the AFC East.

Ten games had passed, and finally Belichick and the Brady bunch had to face the dynamic gun-slinging, play-making and cigarette smoking Cool Jay. With the patriots chasing a ninth-straight divisional title and Tom Brady chasing yet another MVP, Jay Cutler came out of the woodshed with a little extra piss and vinegar looking to prove that it is Jay Cutler’s world, and we are all just living in it.

“To be the man, you’ve gotta beat the man”

Ric Flair said that, and Jay certainly had a tall task ahead of him if he wanted to be the man. Jay has never shied away from big games. Let us not forget when Jay carved up the Green Bay Packers like a thanksgiving turkey, knocking superstar Aaron Rodgers off his gravy train and beating the stuffing out of the Packer’s defense in 2015.

This game was no different, as he threw 263 yards and three touchdowns leading the ‘Fins to victory against the Super Bowl favorites..

Cutler finished the year without throwing an interception in his last two games of the 2017 season. Throwing for 2,666 yards, 19 touchdowns and 14 interceptions.

So here we are, in this frigid month of January and Adam ‘John Wayne’ Gase, like the clown he is, suggests that the team will part ways with Jay. When news like this is revealed, it hits you like a ton of bricks. But like Jay Cutler, Chicago Bears most sacked QB of all time, I must learn to take the hits and keep moving forward.

His career may not have had all the glitz and glamour, but dammit Jay Cutler slung the pigskin and represented a sliver of hope for 12 years as the QB1 of three underwhelming franchises. But before you cast more stones his way, let us not forget that Cutler threw 15 more touchdowns, fifty fewer interceptions (despite being labeled an INT machine) and 7,144 more passing yards than MVP and Hall of Famer Terry Bradshaw who played in 2 more seasons than Cutler.

Jay Cutler, a living and breathing rock star of the NFL, if we have truly seen the last of you on the field, you will be missed. Jay will not only be missed for the memes/GIFS on the internet, he will be remembered as a carefree general of the field who wasn’t phased by past performance or scrutiny from the media.

Love him, hate him, he could care less.

Fore his time as a member of the ‘Fins looks to be coming to an abrupt…